Reddit What if I Want a Job to Be a Kid Again?

A stressed-out father of twins is turning to Reddit for parenting advice now that family life has overshadowed his once-perfect matrimony.

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"I am writing this post to become some things off my breast, anonymously, to fellow strangers on the internet," he wrote on Reddit'south Am I The A**hole department. "You may take it as a alert, you lot can give advice, or just laugh at me."

The dad explained that while he is committed to his children and takes parenthood seriously, "…I wish I could have told my younger self to non do it because I feel like I lost everything. My plans and dreams are gone, my life was reduced to supporting someone else."

He described a recognizable life for most parents: Abiding feeding and diaper changes on no slumber. "…Day and nighttime, nonstop," he wrote. "Getting more than ane hour of slumber between feedings felt like a victory. Eating and cleaning ourselves merely by sacrificing fifty-fifty more than sleep."

Now that their children are two and a half years old, life is easier — although they even so don't slumber through the dark. "Picayune kids are crazy," he noted. "They have enough autonomy to fight you, to refuse things, to break things, just no reasoning at all. And in that location are ii of them, if ane sleeps, the other ane doesn't. If one cooperates, the other one doesn't."

And there is a power imbalance within the extended family; his wife's parents live far away, while his are local. Even so, "Subsequently the kids something changed, she hates them now, doesn't desire any assistance from them, avoids visiting them as much as possible," he wrote of his wife. "I can either upset my family by not visiting them or my wife past visiting them."

And the stress affects his chore performance. "I don't go enough sleep, I am constantly interrupted during piece of work and honestly I am not actually motivated anymore," he confessed. " … Sure, I could rent an part, or merely close myself in a room with headphones on, merely I tin't get out my wife taking intendance of them alone – it really isn't something one person tin can handle on their own long term."

But his wife refuses to hire childcare, and he claims that all she talks and thinks virtually is their children. "I adore her for trying so difficult, she wants the best for them," he wrote to a commenter. "I just wish she would take information technology easier and institute time for other things (including me)."

"Our sex activity life suffered a lot," he added, noting that his married woman sleeps in the children's bedroom. "We rarely have time for it and when we do, it is rushed, there is e'er the threat of babe monitor going off and stopping united states at any signal. Sometimes I don't even feel it is worth the effort."

Watching other families on social media that "appear to handle everything so easily" is hard, he admits. "Just on the other paw, I think nosotros appear the same way on the outside. Possibly it sucks for everyone, but nobody warns you."

His post struck a chord on Reddit, where business organisation was abundant. "….I feel for yous. I have friends who take twins and all the same explosive it is to add i newborn babe to the family, adding two at the same fourth dimension is … infinitely more explosive," someone wrote. "I would urge you to effort and not compare yourself to what you lot encounter on social media. I guarantee you it's nothing but a highlight reel of the very sunniest and best moments, however fleeting."

The aforementioned person added, "I mean this with all respect, merely has your wife been evaluated for postpartum anxiety or depression?" The disorder — which men tin suffer from too — brings mood swings, feet, or sadness, reports the Mayo Clinic. Postpartum low tin can surface after childbirth and tin concluding up to 3 years.

Other readers stated it was "pretty odd" and "non normal" that toddlers don't slumber through the night. According to experts at Stanford Children'southward Health, nearly children get-go doing and so around three months of historic period (or until they weigh about thirteen pounds).  Although toddlers, many of whom still need naps, tin experience sleep disruption without healthy bedtime routines.

And the post confirmed the decision for some to avert parenthood: "Who doesn't love free birth control like this?" and "This reinforced my childfree status."

There is a lot nosotros don't know well-nigh this family, simply we wish them well in finding their rhythm as partners — and every bit parents.

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Source: https://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/2548859/dad-motherhood-changed-wife-worse-twins-reddit/

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